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Tips and Tricks for the Urban Revolutionary
Sometimes, it can be hard to keep a
clear head, what with all that tear gas
wafted through your nostrils. Thinking
is difficult in the best of situations, but
when things begin to get out of control,
it's easy to forget the most basic
tactics.
That's why we here at DIST propose a
few simple instructions, to help you, the
urban revolutionary, react to difficult
situations.
- If the riot cops charge, and youare not sure which direction to
run in, the phrase "Never Eat
Shredded Wheat" is a good way to
remember the directions of the
compass.
- During a horse charge, alwayskeep a few lumps of sugar handy.
Making friends with a police horse
has never been easier.
- Throwing marbles onto the streetis an effective way to start a game
of marbles.
- The smell of patchouli can clear aclouded mind. If you get gassed,
sniff a hippie.
- If you get hungry during a riot, itis generally not considered wise to
head over to the local McDonald's.
- Sometimes, a riot can be a goodopportunity to pick up a few
Christmass gifts at rock bottom
prices.
- Wear motorcycle goggles to aprotest. Not only will they protect
you from pepper-spray, they are
also a very hip accessory to your
stylish wardrobe.
- If you get arrested, and the copstry to take your mug-shot, stick
out your tongue. Also, making
oinking noises will often cause the
cops to get irritated with you, and
they may release you early to get
you out of earshot.
- If someone near you is gettingarrested, you can unarrest them.
When the police attempt to pull
them out of the crowd, grab the
person's other arm and pull back.
Make a wish!
- Yelling "Fuck you, you corporatemedia whore" at every television
camera you see is a much more
effective public statement than
"Hi Mom."
- If you start a chant, picksomething with as few syllables
and words as possible. This will
avoid confusing people. Try this
one: "Society is bad! Bad! Bad!
Bad! And that makes us mad!
Mad! Mad! Mad!". Or, better yet
"Three word chant! Three word
chant!" Anything which starts
with "Hey hey! Ho ho!" is a
sure-fire winner.
- During a stand-off, a good way toreduce the tension is to throw
sponges painted to look like rocks.
When the cops realize they're just
sponges, they will find the
situation very amusing.
- At most Summits, there is a lotmore State to smash then there
will ever be back home. Take
advantage of the situation - you
may never see another McDonald's
restaurant again.
Next Section: Slogans and Graffitos
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